Lotus Flowers

My bitter sweet summer is finally drawing to an end. There have been times I’ve sat in disbelief at how hard my favourite season has been this year, but equal to that, there have been times I could describe as nothing less than beautiful and filled with the strongest kind of love.

Watching a dear friend’s path come to an end in this world has been by far the most intense period in my life, but it would do it a disservice to say that no good has come from it. Some of my already existing bonds have grown into true, life-long friendships and I’ve even formed some new ones along the way.

Seeing the human body deteriorate, although sometimes an impossible sight to endure, has only solidified my beliefs that our bodies are merely vessels for our souls, and even when the physical body dies, the soul is simply set free to go onto it’s next adventure. It’s only the human ego that wants to keep those souls in their bodies because we can’t fathom life without that physical embodiment of that person, but I am certain that there is so much more.

At times like this, it’s so important to seek out the good. It’s always there, even if you have to search for it. The good for me has come in the form of Sam, Amelie, Dan, Ali, Adam, Rosie, Ioanna, Sue, Chris and of course, Sophia. My Architects family. I’m so grateful I was let into this incredible circle of people and although the journey of grieving is far from over, I think all of us have eased the strain a little for everyone else in our own ways.

Now, I could bang on about how I’ve learnt to not take any day for granted and to live life to the fullest, but I hope you all know to exist like that anyway. The most important conclusion I’ve come to in all of this is that death, is not the worst case scenario.

There is only one certainty in life, and that is death. So if it’s something that every single being must experience why are we so afraid of it? We are afraid because we don’t know what happens next, there’s no answers until it happens but that’s the case with so many things in life and there’s actually a real beauty in that. I’m not saying that I don’t feel an acute pang of fear at the thought of my life ending, but I’ve certainly been thrown onto a path of beginning to accept it. We put so much importance on having physical objects/beings because most of us believe that if we can’t physically see it or touch it then it can’t be there. Now I know otherwise, I feel less frightened.

Witnessing Toms journey for the last three years has shaped me into who I am becoming now and being allowed to be present until the very end has allowed me to see what I needed to see to understand life in a way I thought impossible, yet another beautiful Lotus flower that has emerged from this dark time.

So I won’t look back on this as the worst thing I’ve seen and experienced, I’ll sight it as the most important lesson I’ve had so far and I’ll be grateful for all of my little Lotus flowers that emerged throughout this.

Nothing but love x

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